Moon Hoaxes, Bases, and Stupid People

For best results read this post in the style of the late George Carlin.

You know what pisses me off? Well, what really pisses me off is that half of the Triscuits are broken in the box when you open it, but that’s not my issue right now. What almost really pisses me off is stupid people.

The MoonTo be sure, I don’t get everything (because I’m not George Carlin), but I do get a few basic things here and there. It took a little time but I kinda get what generally makes sense; what is completely idiotic; and what is stupid. When people don’t get these general basic things they must be more stupid than me. Which, thankfully, makes me not that stupid, and brings me to today’s post subject: More bullshit about poor old misunderstood Moon.

While cover surfing Netflix the other day I stumbled upon a TV episode about extraterrestrial Moon bases. My first thought was, “wonderful, more bullshit to feed to stupid people.” I started watching, which admittedly might make me seem just as stupid, but bear with me. My reason for watching, at least the first 10 minutes, was to see if they would present any shred of evidence based on science and sound logic.

Not surprisingly, no compelling evidence was presented to support the claim that aliens have set up complex, technologically advanced bases on the moon to monitor human activity on Earth. What we are shown is a bunch of fuzzy images of light and dark areas which seem to resemble, sort-of, structural elements like strongholds, weaponry and ginormous satellite dishes.

Ignore the other round, satellite-dish-like craters nearby, and the other light and dark areas that may resemble any number of things, like rivers, bridges, giant spatulas and frying pans.

Do the people making these claims actually believe that what they are seeing is evidence of real alien activity and a coverup by our government? If so, why the fuck would they believe such nonsense?

Two possibilities:
1.
These people do not have brains. Somewhere their brains were either completely removed, or some form of lobotomy was performed removing that part of the brain that should say things like, “hey, wait a minute, this sounds like stupid bullshit, I’m not going to believe it.” or…

2. These people have some brains but, for some reason, what brains they do have are retarded, like the audience of Rupaul’s Drag Race.

3. There actually is an alien base set up on the Moon to monitor Earth. Anyone who thinks it is a far-fetched fanatical fringe idea is an ignorant fool, and the people who spend way too much time looking at fuzzy pictures trying to find shit, are smarter, and correct, deserving of an honorary doctorate degree from some big university based on their amazing life work uncovering such astonishing mysteries. Just like the people looking for blobsquatches.

We don’t need to jump to conclusions and make a conspiracy where there is none. The only real mystery is that these guys don’t spend more time examining moons like this…

Moon conspiracy revealed