As you may have noticed, my phone rang just as I was wrapping up my last post. It was my mother. She always calls on the landline, which I have absolutely no idea why I still own one… yes I do, my mother won’t call me on my phablet or use FaceTime. She’s one of those whacks who think the government is tracking us and monitoring everything on the cellular network.
I tell her they were tapping landlines way before cellphones were even invented, but it doesn’t make any difference. She doesn’t get it. And when I joked that they probably already have a tracking chip implanted in her head she started wearing tinfoil hats to create interference.
Anyway, just as I was hanging up with her, “Mr. X” slipped a note under my door. I ran outside to try and find out who the hell it was that keeps doing that, but there was no one there. Just a pale moon casting it’s blue glow across the wooded landscape. It was so quiet I thought I heard a fart drift to my ear from the tree line. “Maybe a Squatch I thought,” and chuckled to myself. Then I realized it was my shoe.
But you didn’t come here to read about Squatch farts and my mother’s phone call…
Who is “Mr. X” and why does he slip notes under my door?
It’s been happening for the past few months. One note per, and I never know what week or day they will arrive. They are usually slipped under the door very late at night or in the wee hours, so most of the time I don’t notice them until morning. This time, however, my mom kept me on the phone so damn long that I actually was standing right there when it happened. Scared the deuce out of me at first.
The call was wrapping up so I hurried it along and was approaching the door just as I pressed the “End” button on my cordless. I swung the door open, hoping to catch the note-leaver, but, as I mentioned, nobody there. Creepy.
Each note contains only two words, glued onto the paper like a ransom letter, followed by a glued on “Mr. X.” I have had no success putting them in any order that makes sense. This is the fourth note I’ve received, and when combined with the previous three in chronological order, they all read:
“Conspiracy Watch Murdered Cow Sloppy Slipknot Walmart Hack”
I don’t know if the two words on each note should ride together or be split up among the others to fit in somewhere else. This cryptic message could mean anything in any order, and I doubt very much that I have all the words I need to complete the message. Surely there are more clues on the way because this string of words is just plain nonsense.
I contacted my informant about the strange notes and he laughed, like someone laughing at a co-worker who backed into his boss’ car in the parking lot. He told me he could offer no help, but shared one piece of advise, “Get packed and be ready to head for the hills.”
That day crept by slowly, ominously. I sat pondering the words for hours, trying to think of something, anything, to help fit this puzzle together. As the day wore on, and the sun began to yield to the cool grip of twilight in this forest reserve, I felt drawn into a mystery, and began to fear for my safety, while I waited, dreaded the sound of another note slipping under my door.
The words of my informant echoed through my mind, “be ready to head for the hills.”
I have no clue, but I thought that was a good post title.
Regardless of what my top level informant tells me, I have my suspicions regarding the existence of creatures called Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Skunk Ape, Yei, Almas, what-the-hell-ever. Many years have I swatted mosquitos and pinched loafs in the field looking for tracks, listening for wood knocks, and sniffing for putrid stinks, other than mine, that are said to accompany these beasts. I have found nothing. Nothing!
Photos from a bank of trail cams hidden in the wilderness surrounding my remote cabin have revealed nothing but the normal wildlife one would expect: deer, bear, bobcats, foxes, dogs, trespassers, people fucking, you name it.
I even have a selfie that a barn owl took while sitting on a branch near the camera. Scared the shit out of me when I looked at it! Those things are creepy looking. Cool as hell though.
Anyway, Bigfoot. Big ol’ Bigfoot. What is going on people?
It would be one thing if we could all just enjoy these mysterious stories, which is all they are, stories, without having to actually think there is something to go find!
But we fool ourselves. And you don’t have to be stupid to fool yourself, there are a great number of smart people in this world fooling themselves everyday, and not just about Bigfoot.
But to continue, let’s take for example, the late Grover Krantz. A smart man with an impressive scholarly track record, Grantz, at first a skeptic, eventually turned believer and outspoken advocate for the existence of Sasquatch. His theory was that sightings of these creatures could be credited to a small surviving population of Gigantopithecus blacki.
His turn from Bigfoot skeptic came through his examination of the “Cripple Foot” track casts made in Bossburg, Washington in November of 1969.Actaully, let’s just say, “cast” in the singular form. The claim is made that Krantz, along with René Dahinden, examined all 1,089 tracks in the snow, yet there is only a reference to, and a cast of, one (1) alleged cripple foot. We don’t even get to see any pictures, not even two, of the other 1,089 purported tracks found.
It would also make sense to note that, in the book Sasquatch, by Don Hunter, with René Dahinden, it is mentioned that the tracks were found made in “soft soil.” Not in the snow. Maybe I’m missing something there. Maybe they were made in soft soil with snow on top.
You know what my first thought is when I look at that “cripple foot” track in the snow, seen in the photo above? It looks like somebody stumbled in the snow. I see a gloved left hand print and a boot heel. The two impressions did not have to be made at the same time. But that’s just my stupid observation.
Do you know what Krantz had to say about the possibility that someone hoaxed the cripple foot tracks?
From a John Yager, KXLY-TV interview with Grover Krantz, quoted by Michael Dennett in “Bigfoot Evidence: Are These Tracks Real?” Skeptical Inquirer 18, no. 5 (1994): 499-500, and referenced from Abominable Science!: Origins of the Yeti, Nessie, and Other Famous Cryptids, The Sasquatch, page 53… Krantz states,
with all the subtle hints of anatomy design, he had to be a real genius, an expert at anatomy, very inventive, an original thinker. He had to outclass me in those areas, and I don’t think anyone outclasses me in those areas, at least not since Leonardo da Vinci. So I say such a person is impossible, therefore the tracks are real.
Who the hell makes a comment like that; comparing themselves to da Vinci?
Anyway, let’s get back to the original topic of smart people persisting to entertain the idea of Bigfoot as a real creature. I will stop using the term “believe.” With abundant evidence to the contrary, and a huge absence of real evidence — which, to be sure is not evidence of absence, as I have heard — why does it continue?
Dr. Jeffrey Meldrum is a smart guy, no doubt about it. The man is Full Professor of Anatomy and Anthropology and a Professor of the Department of Anthropology at Idaho State University. You don’t get there being dumb. I will emphasize, so save my ass… Dr. Jeffrey Meldrum is not dumb! So, why does he continue to assert that the existence of Bigfoot is a real possibility?
Dr. Meldrum, in his study of casts of alleged Sasquatch footprints, has become convinced that enough similarity is found between many track casts far and wide to warrant serious investigation into the possible reality of these creatures.
On one hand I kind of agree with him, but on the other I can’t help but think that maybe he, like so many other Bigfoot proponents, is conveniently ignoring some details that may suggest the contrary to that which is desired.
Granted I have not studied track casts in as much depth as Dr. Meldrum, but for years I wanted Bigfoot to be real. I poured over books, watched TV shows, documentaries, read stories of encounters, and went into the woods hoping for an encounter of my own. It never happened, and over time I began to see a common element to it all. Strip away all the “evidence” and look at what is really going on.
We watch the shows, read the stories, and are entertained by the mysteries. Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, Dogmen (yes, Dogmen), UFOs, Alien conspiracies.
Finding Bigfoot, MonsterQuest, Mountain Monsters, The X-Files, Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World, In Search Of…, all of the books, films, and shows; with all of the mysterious things they present, they all hint at only one reality…
People love a mystery.
I will leave you with that. Hang on… my phone is ringing…
Scientists have discovered four new craters in the Siberian Yamal Peninsula in northern Russia. The current theory is that methane gas is being released from the thick permafrost, which is melting due to global warming.
Hah! We all know that global warming is a joke, no one is going to make me give up my fucking Bronco!
But back to the story…
According to the science geniuses, who are probably just blowing smoke — like the cigarette smoking man in the X-Files — to conceal the truth, higher-than-normal local temperatures are causing the permafrost to thaw, causing methane gas to escape and the earth above to drop into the void. Giant sink holes if you will.
That’s possible I guess, but it seems too simple an explanation really, when we know that other secret things are going on that we don’t know about, and are being covered up by our governments who pay the scientists to spread misinformation.
And what about this “flash of light” seen by locals before the most recent crater discovery? Was this caused by methane gas ignited by friction as the earth collapsed, or was it the collective glow from the flashlights of Hollow Earth Dwellers escaping from a super-heated nightmare below?
My covert conspiracy informant tells me that Hollow Earth Dwellers were picked up by hovering UFOs, from many rendezvous points around the world, and shuttled away to safety under the cover of darkness. As a result a similar crater is rumored to have been discovered in the western United States, but it’s hush hush of course. The photo above was leaked to me by my informant.
The lifestyle of Hollow Earth Dwellers is in peril and they need to escape to safer havens. It’s the poor idiots on the surface of the planet who are screwed!