The Unexplained Files – Leave the Bunk Alone

Carl Kolchak - The Night StalkerAs I said in my last post, we bounced back and forth between The Unexplained files and slightly better TV, Restaurant Impossible, and spent most of the time on the latter. Nothing new on The Unexplained Files, same bunk different day.

Why bother complaining? There is a reason I run this site. A reason I tend to read books and watch TV and movies about monsters, UFOs and strange mysteries in general: it’s fun sometimes. I’m not above admitting an attraction to this stuff. It’s been an interest of mine for a long, long time, and I like it. Tales of the unexplained are entertaining, and sometimes I watch bunk TV even if it’s just to toss wisecrack commentary at the screen during shows like The Unexplained Files.

Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I wish some of it were true, but all of these things emerge from human imagination and our evolutionary heritage. The thrill we get from tales of the unknown is psychological. There is a reason the phrase “spine tingling” exists; humans love adventure and mystery. Stories and spooky legends turn on our imagination and excite us.

What makes it all a farce is the people coming forward with their “evidence” like “doctor” Phyllis Canion. She has a stuffed mangy dog she’s touting as an unknown predator, and the frozen corpse of a dead something we’re never given a clear shot of. Her comment? “I don’t know what it is, do you?”

Maybe we’d be able to figure it out if the damn cameraman were allowed to get a good shot, but no, we’re not allowed to really look at the “evidence” for ourselves, but should we? Should we bother to investigate? Should we play Kolchak or Fox Mulder? Why? Let’s just enjoy the entertainment and leave it alone.

Shows like this actually detract from the wonder of the entertaining and enduring “mysteries” like Bigfoot, UFOs, ghosts and other wonderful strangeness. It all started with stories and legends.

None of this stuff is true, but it’s fun. Tell the stories, enjoy the mysteries and the “what if” factor, enjoy the thrills and the scares. But don’t try to explain it, don’t ruin the beauty of legend and lore as it exists in our culture.

If we look at it for what it is, and explore the mysteries as a way to entertain ourselves, that’s fine. But don’t try to make it real.

The Unexplained FIles on Science Channel

The Unexplained Files premiers on Sci tonight and I plan to watch, but I will also find something else worthwhile and keep my finger on the [return] button to flick back to “good” TV if (when) it gets too stupid. If there is any good TV to flick back to, that is.

I expect a flimsy rehash of the standard “unexplained” fare and suspect it will include scant presentation of any real facts with plenty of attention drawn to complete speculation and nonsense. It is, after all, what the general population (who actually watch this stuff) are looking for.

We don’t want the truth, we want entertainment! I can understand that, I like it too, that’s why I run this damn website, but at some point you would think the producers or broadcasters would at least try to edumacate the general paranormal public about what real science understands regarding these “mysteries.”

Easier said than done I guess. First, people who want to believe nonsense will ignore any legitimate explanation anyway, happens all the time. Second, people who want to believe nonsense will ignore any legitimate explanation anyway, happens all the time.

Turd, the networks won’t get any decent ratings so they have to deliver what the audience wants.

Image of Frederick Valentich and news article about his disappearanceAll kidding aside, the premier episode will feature two stories. The first, “Valentich,” is a rehashing of the disappearance of pilot Frederick Valentich, who vanished without a trace under mysterious circumstances over Bass Strait in Australia.

The mysterious transmission recorded between Valentich and the Melbourne Flight Service Unit reveals some strangeness which tweaks the ears of any UFO buff. Valentich described a strange, shiny metal object “orbiting” overhead. On the recording he stated “it is hovering and it’s not an aircraft.”

This last transmission was followed by strange metallic sounds before contact with his plane was lost. Official investigation has failed to explain the sounds (but they could be the result of a crashing plane), and though no wreckage was discovered it may be assumed that his plane crashed in the sea and was swept away before finally sinking.

According to his father Valentich had an interest in UFOs. He also may have been a bit paranoid, and perhaps was fantasy prone. Not the best combo for a pilot. Of course, that is complete speculation on my part.

Dead, stuffed mangy Texas Blue Lacy dogNext in the premier is “Texas Blue Dogs.” Not sure how the powers-that-be at Sci determined this as part of the lead episode but it sounds down right scary as hell to me. I’ve heard of Texas Hot Weiners but Texas Blue Dogs?

Oh I won’t speculate, but for all we know it’s some crazy hybrid alien-Chupacabra creature running around, I mean, we can’t disprove that right? And there’s a “doctor” on the episode with a full size mounted one of these things. It has crazy blue glass eyes, so it must be for real!

Dr. Phyllis Canion is a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine. In short, a quack. She’s probably on TV to promote her name (and thereby her website, when anyone does a google search, as we do these days), and she may actually convert some visits to sales if enough nonsense-believing dopes pop by. It could happen, that’s why I run this damn website. But at least I’m not a quack.

She also touts her professionally stuffed and sinisterly posed, dead, malnourished or mangy Blue Lacy dog as an example of mysterious, unknown creatures who may be mutilating her chickens and terrorizing other ranchers in Texas.

I mean, let’s not look too closely at these things, we don’t really want to know what the truth is, we just want to be reminded that maybe, just maybe… things are not as they seem. That’s entertainment.